I hate high school. I hate bratty, selfish, spoiled, immature people. I hate having to ride the bus home everyday and having to deal with stupid little 7th and 8th graders. I hate that I'm letting it bug me this much. I hate all the stuff I have to do and that I'm overwhelmed so I can't get anything done. I hate that my mom won't let me drive even though I've had my license for almost 2 months. I hate being so angry. I hate that I can't enjoy anything anymore. I hate being the friend that everyone forgets about. The one that is always left alone. I hate being a pessimist and hating everything. I hate SATs and SAT prep. I hate AP classes. I hate how my entire future relies on how successful I am in the next three months and how I haven't been doing my best because I'm so busy. I hate dealing with obnoxious people. I hate dealing with immature people. I hate dealing with everyone. I hate when people don't understand, and then I hate myself for expecting them to understand. I hate expecting so much from people. I hate not being inspired or even motivated to do anything. I hate how nothing works when I want it to. Ever. I hate that a girl in my school is pregnant, and a girl at my mom's school is pregnant and my aunt lost her babies.

I hate that I'm so sad all the time.

I hope you thought about what I said. I hope what I said meant something to you. I respect your decision and your motivation, but I don't want your presumed failure to motivate you. You will not fail; you cannot fail, and that I promise. To quote the cliche, you will never know until you try. Just try. Apply. Just do it. Listen to what I told you. You are not stupid. You are not a failure. You can make it. If they can, you can. You have something in you that sets you apart from the rest. You just have to find it. Please, just think about it, before you regret not taking the risk to prove it to yourself.

Inspiration

vanessa jackman

NEW LAPTOP!

Hello!
I FINALLY bought a NEW laptop that actually has WiFi and actually loads faster than a turtle and clicks where and when I want it to. I haven't been the best blogger lately because I have been going through the hell that is midterm week, but the week is over, and I have lots to share. So, now that I have better access to the internet and far more time, I will be able to write a lot more often!
So, some topics that you should expect to hear about it the near future:

- PROM!
- Glamour Gals
- School/College venting
- Jewelry parties
- SKINS! (and Greek)
etc, etc, in addition to many random posts to help me through my day.

Here is a loverly photo of moi from photobooth on my brand spankin' new MAC!
loveeeee,
H :)

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Before watching an old movie over the summer, I saw a preview for this book-turned-movie. I remember my mother and grandmother reading it and found it sitting on the bookshelf at my camp. I asked for my grandmother's permission and borrowed it from our camp, bringing it home and leaving it sitting on a table in my room for a few months. After a few months passed and I finished reading the current book for English class, I was looking for a good book and re-stumbled upon this. I picked it up and immediately couldn't put it down. I found myself taking this book out of my backpack during the school day, and staying up later than I should have, not being able to pull myself away. The setting immediately intrigued me, as I am one to search for knowledge of other cultures. What I did not expect, though, was how much I could relate to the characters. Although the tragedy of the story is more horrific than anything I could ever live through, the feelings of guilt, sorrow, and Amir's ability to eventually absolve his heavy self-inflicted burdens reminded me of my past and inspired me for my future.
I immediately became attached to every single one of the characters. Most books I have read have an easily lovable character and an easily hateable one, though as I learned about the regretful pasts of many of the characters, I could not help but to love them even more.
The growth and actions of the characters really made me think about my own life and how I've been living. I don't want to give away the ending, so I will keep it vague, but it truly inspired me. The way Amir acted at the end of the story, though he lived his whole life with the guilt of many important parts of his and his father's life, he acted with courage and ultimate strength.
When I make decisions now, and sometimes even randomly during the day, I think of this book and of Amir, Hassan, and Baba. It makes me think of how much your decisions can affect another person's entire life and how much courage counts. Courage, strength, and redemption: three very important things in life that this book taught me to always think about. Courage, for being able to strive for what you want; strength, to be able to persevere; and redemption, knowing that as long as you have the courage and strength to strive and persevere, you will be forgiven, in some way, shape, or form.