PROM PROM PROM

Okay, so I OFFICIALLY have everything set for the one day of my teenage life where I can have almost everything EXACTLY the way I want it. Do I sound conceited? Yes. Do I care at this point? No. Because I'm about to have the best night ever :)
Anyway, rather than expressing my extreme excitement (which I can't even put into words, hence the poor explanation) I will dedicate this post to my SHOES.
Now, I am not usually a "shoe" girl (I have three pairs of shoes I wear every single day, and two of them are sneakers). At first, I wanted to go with a simple, nude pump to tone down my cobalt blue dress. I searched at TJ Maxx finding heels too high or sizes too big, before I came across what I thought were the perfect shoes at none other than my favorite store of all time: Target. I bought them for about 20 bucks, and they looked so perfect with my dress.
The second I put them on, though, my mom started telling me I needed to add "bling" to them to dress them up a bit. I kept telling her that my dress was so bright, I needed the shoes to tone them down a bit, but she eventually convinced me that I needed to add more to them.
After searching for inspiration here, I set out on an adventure to Joann's to search for ribbon and other pretty things. As I walked down the aisles, I came across a shelf with "headband accessories." My sight immediately went to the stack of peacock feathers. I showed them to my dad, laughing, remembering the twenties headband I tried on at the dress shop. I walked around aimlessly, leaving the feathers behind, searching for goodies. After a while, with nothing in my hand but blue ribbon, I came back to the feathers. I started to look closer at them and think of ideas. My dad and I agreed that the little blue in the feathers would match my dress perfectly, and after a quick call to my mom for advice, I was on my way home with two peacock feathered "headband accessories."
After some trial and error, I attached the accessory to my shoes and I fell in love.

Before:

AFTER!




p.s. sorry for the awkward/poor quality photos. my camera is broken so I have to use photobooth... haha

Why must you act that way? Like the world revolves around you, like everything I say is wrong, like it is my mission in life to make you miserable. The world does not revolve around you. In case you don't remember anything from earth science, the world revolves around the sun. Last time I checked you are not the sun. The world will not revolve around you. People will not change their plans to fit around your needs. This night is not all about you. It is about us. It is about our entire class, about our friends, and the people we care about. Why don't you want to capture memories with all of our friends? Why must you complain about me to my best friend? Why is it such a big deal that I want to get as much done as possible?
I am sick of you. I am done dealing with you. I am sick of you complaining when others make a suggestion. I am sick of you blaming other people for something they didn't do. I'm sick of you expecting people to give you the work they worked hard on so that you can copy it. I'm sick of you thinking that you are the sun. You are not the sun; you are not even a star. You are an asteroid, creating craters in relationships and contentedness.

Friends Forever

Today in church, I sat behind two little old women who reminded me vaguely of you and me. They looked extremely elegant in their pea coats and light white hair. Their makeup was done perfectly, colorfully complementing their skin. They whispered to each other at appropriate times during mass and quietly giggled to each other. They acted like they had been friends forever; like sisters that looked nothing alike, except for their mutual smiles and the twinkle in their eyes. They laughed at the same things, and seemed to be able to read each other's minds. When they turned around and I wished them peace, I looked at them, quietly thinking of you, hoping that that would be us in 70 years. I hope that we still know each other in 70 years as we do now. I hope that we can still laugh and go to church together and be as close we were sophomore year.
Seeing them made me miss you. I miss talking to you everyday and going to church with you after volleyball. I miss us being able to read each other's minds. I miss talking to you about anything and everything and going to your house for a sleepover or downtown to eat crepes. I miss you.
I want us to be the little old ladies who go to church together with smiles on our faces and twinkles in our eyes.

I hate high school. I hate bratty, selfish, spoiled, immature people. I hate having to ride the bus home everyday and having to deal with stupid little 7th and 8th graders. I hate that I'm letting it bug me this much. I hate all the stuff I have to do and that I'm overwhelmed so I can't get anything done. I hate that my mom won't let me drive even though I've had my license for almost 2 months. I hate being so angry. I hate that I can't enjoy anything anymore. I hate being the friend that everyone forgets about. The one that is always left alone. I hate being a pessimist and hating everything. I hate SATs and SAT prep. I hate AP classes. I hate how my entire future relies on how successful I am in the next three months and how I haven't been doing my best because I'm so busy. I hate dealing with obnoxious people. I hate dealing with immature people. I hate dealing with everyone. I hate when people don't understand, and then I hate myself for expecting them to understand. I hate expecting so much from people. I hate not being inspired or even motivated to do anything. I hate how nothing works when I want it to. Ever. I hate that a girl in my school is pregnant, and a girl at my mom's school is pregnant and my aunt lost her babies.

I hate that I'm so sad all the time.

I hope you thought about what I said. I hope what I said meant something to you. I respect your decision and your motivation, but I don't want your presumed failure to motivate you. You will not fail; you cannot fail, and that I promise. To quote the cliche, you will never know until you try. Just try. Apply. Just do it. Listen to what I told you. You are not stupid. You are not a failure. You can make it. If they can, you can. You have something in you that sets you apart from the rest. You just have to find it. Please, just think about it, before you regret not taking the risk to prove it to yourself.